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The Damage Done By ‘Normal’ and ‘Natural’
Two simple words but they cast a lot of pain
I have an adult son with autism. I spent a lot of his childhood trying to find ways to describe non-autistic people without using the word ‘normal’.
The phrase that was generally settled on was neurotypical. Someone whose neural makeup is typical of…the norm! There it is again, buried deep in the description.
What is normal?
It’s normal to work for a company from 9–5. My son doesn’t work, it’s not suitable for him at the moment. I’m a freelancer and author so I work whenever I need to. We are not normal, but we are happy being abnormal in our work patterns.
The normal way to live is in a building. I live on a boat. That’s not normal — therefore, it’s abnormal. Although it’s normal for me and thousands of others like me.
It’s normal to own a car, use a hairdryer and drink coffee. That makes me and my son both seriously abnormal!
So, you see, normal is not a definitive thing. Not like a table, egg or double-decker bus. It’s easy to know exactly what those things are. Normal is more of a concept. A variable concept.
